


Photographs of Cigarettes

by PearPrince



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Anxiety, Bad Touch Trio | Bad Friend Trio, Daddy Issues, Family Drama, Fluff, Homophobia, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Photographer! England, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, a lot of self doubt, but like not too much to where you want to ugly cry, everyone here is a bastard and its ok, implied depression, slight coffee shop au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:22:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22048579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PearPrince/pseuds/PearPrince
Summary: Arthur Kirkland decides to move to go to a university in Paris in order to pursue his love of photography. He seems to be lost in the big city but, when he meets a french playboy, things seem to get far more interesting than he had bargained for.His hatred for the man seems to be overwhelmed by his curiosity for him. Maybe pursuing a relationship with him is harder than it looks, especially since his love for him is being combated by his loneliness, dysfunctional family, and Francis' complete disregard for his affections.An AU that contains enough humor and fluff to heal the angst featuring college life, lots of smoking, daddy issues, and mostly Arthur denying his own sexuality.
Relationships: Arthur Kirkland/Francis Bonnefoy, England/France (Hetalia), FrUK - Relationship
Kudos: 10





	Photographs of Cigarettes

_ “When you took my love, I forget the world / And if you say "run, " I may run with you / I've got nothing else, I've got nowhere else” _

\- Spoon, “Rainy Taxi

Arthur looked out his window to see the sky growing lighter as the sun began to rise seemingly out of nowhere. He sighed as he realized he had pulled another all-nighter reading all the rejection letters he received from universities he applied for. Already in his early twenties and his future seemed hazy. Not knowing where his future was heading, he applied to universities all over Europe expressing he had a “deep interest” to major in random subjects hoping to get at least one acceptance letter. Spending his paychecks (albeit very small) on application fees was starting to cut into his food expenses and he wasn’t entirely sure that this was a good idea anymore.

Leaving London, the city he had spent his entire life in, did seem a little daunting but he was looking for adventure after all. Applying for universities he had never heard of may not have been the best way to find excitement but what else could he have done? He has held the same position at a corner store for the past four years. He was growing bored with the same old routine and wanted his life to have meaning. Arthur still valued his life it was just so, so depressing. Like embarrassingly depressing. University would give him a chance to start over and do something he actually liked. Besides, he needed to move out and quick! He couldn’t put up with his roommates anymore, especially not after they trashed the place during a party he didn’t even agree to. Don’t get him wrong, he really liked his roommates, he’d even consider them his best friends, but god could they test him. 

As Arthur relived the events of last weekend’s party, a dinging noise resonated from his laptop. He returned to reality to open an email from…La Pucelle d’Orleans University of Paris? There was no way that this prestigious school would ever accept him with his half-hearted application. He didn’t even remember applying for the university, let alone what he wanted to major in. He considered skipping this email because he knew that it was another rejection letter. But he also had nothing else to do. so he reluctantly read over response. He opened the email to read:

_ Dear Arthur Kirkland,  _

_ Our recruitment committee has reviewed over 200 applications for this particular program in La Pucelle d’Orleans in Paris. With this in mind, we regret to inform you that we cannot accept your application to study in “Film Making”... _

There it was, the rejection. He couldn’t say he was surprised (since he just read four other emails that said the same thing) but he still felt a sense of disappointment. It would have been a miracle if it wasn’t. ‘Why couldn’t these letters just be a bit blunter?’ thought Arthur. They dragged out the suffering for far too long with long words that meant nothing to anyone. Were they used to soften the blow? Why couldn’t they just tell him that he was not admitted and why? He sighed in frustration before continuing to read the email (having nothing better to do) to see his reason for rejection.

_...as we do not have any room for you in this particular program. The pupils that  _ _ we do have in this program have been specifically chosen, have a multitude of  _ _ qualifications, and have a deep passion for this subject.  _

_ However, in your application, you expressed that you are eager to pursue a career in photography and had previously won a few awards for your photographs. It is with great enthusiasm that we invite you to major in this field as we do have room for you in this program. It is our motto to allow our students to explore their options and passions so we understand if you believe you are not ready for this big step. However, If you do decide to take us up on our offer, we ask that you email us back at Lapucelled’orleans@FUOP.edu as soon as possible so we may arrange for your interview and registration. Thank you for your time. _

_ Sincerely, Garron Bissett Director of La Pucelle d’Orleans _

The tired man’s eyes widened in shock. He couldn’t believe the words sitting in front of him. There was no way he was just accepted into La Pucelle d’Orleans. He must have just read the email wrong, after all, he had been sleep deprived for the past few...years. He re-read the email until he could recite every word of it by heart. He finally got an acceptance letter! And here he was sitting on his bed on the brink of yet another breakdown. It seemed like he wouldn’t just pass out of exhaustion tonight (or this morning? He hadn’t bothered to check the time yet) after crying form thinking about his future. That’s one for him on the win column.

‘If only they could see me now!’ thought Arthur (not really directing it towards anyone in particular). ‘.I’m not just a depressed nerd whose life is going nowhere!’ Okay, after hearing him say that out loud, to himself, in the dead of night (or morning?), even Arthur kind of believed the second part. But his usually pessimistic attitude couldn’t reach him. Not at this exact moment at least. 

He was ecstatic, this would be the first time he would be leaving the UK. He jumped out of his bed and started bouncing around his room sing-shouting “I’M GOING TO PARIS!” In his excitement, he even allowed himself to dance (albeit very badly) to his little song. He ran out of the room to tell his, not so awake, roommates about the news forgetting how early it was.

“Vladimir, Lukas! Wake up, I have some good news!” Arthur began banging on his poor friend’s door. “Come on. Wake up, I’m serious!”

Vladimir opened the door with a horrified expression and angrily whispered, “Arthur, do you realize what time it is?!”

Arthur pulled out his phone to read 6:00 in large numbers.

“Yeah! It’s 6:00!” Vladimir continued to whisper-shout. “You’ve gone and dug your own grave my friend.” He then gave his doomed friend a sympathetic look and a pat on the back.

Arthur’s previous excitement was suddenly forgotten as he remembered what had happened the last time he woke up his roommate Lukas at such an ungodly hour. Although it may seem overdramatic for someone to get so angry over being woken up early, Lukas couldn't care less. His face cringed as he remembered the black eye he received on the day he learned about his roommate's aversion to being woken up. “Uggghh! I'm really not in the mood to deal with so much yelling and violence. God, I'm  _ fucked _ .” It seemed as if he had finally realized the reality of his situation. 

“Exactly! You better have a damn good excuse for waking him up.”

At this moment the sound of a door opening followed by loud stomps could be heard coming from the other side of the flat towards Vladimir’s room.

Vladimir rolled his eyes and pulled his face down with his hand. “You’ve done it. You awoke the beast…again.”

Arthur and Vladimir huddled up against each other in the corner of the room awaiting a hurricane of pure rage. The stomps grew louder. Closer. Until the demon had finally reached the door. The two gulped and prepared for the worst as he opened the door and stepped into the room.

“ARTHUR! YOU BETTER HAVE ONE  _ GOOD _ REASON FOR WAKING ME UP OR YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!”

Arthur gulped once more. “But Lukas”, Arthur said in a hushed voice. “I do have a good reason for my...um…Outburst….” He never acted so timidly. This side of him only made an appearance when his well-being was being threatened by his very tired (and incredibly scary) friend.

“THEN SPIT IT OUT ALREADY! I’M LOSING MY PATIENCE ARTHUR KIRKLAND, AND IF I WAIT ANY LONGER I’M AFRAID YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO THAT FACE OF YOURS!”

Arthur rubbed his cheek as he chose his next words carefully, as to not anger the beast any more than he already was.“....There’s no need for that. I got accepted into a University, La Pucelle d’Orleans in Paris to be specific, to major in photography.”

“What?! Really?! I’m so proud of you. See, I told you you wouldn’t be working at a crummy corner store for the rest of your life. Wait, does this mean we’re never gonna see you again!?” said Vladimir. 

“Well, I wouldn’t say never. Maybe during the holidays, and maybe even random visits. And we’d be Skyping most of the time anyway.”

“But I’m still gonna miss you though. Who’s gonna tell stories about magic and witchcraft with us now?”

“...Somehow I know you will do just fine without my horrendous stories” Arthur said rubbing the back of his neck.

“BUT THAT IS STILL NO REASON TO GO SHOUTING AROUND AND WAKING ME UP!  _ ARTHUR KIRKLAND! _ ”

“Yes?” replied Arthur in a meek voice.

“YOU’RE A DEADMAN!!”Lukas shouted before chasing Arthur around the apartment with the intent to kill. Arthur ran out of the room waving goodbye to Vladimir in an attempt to save himself. He hopped over the couch to hide as Lukas entered the living room. Lukas had obviously seen him hide there and inevitably caught him. He pounced onto his poor unsuspecting prey and proceeded to pin him to the ground. Arthur covered his face but was still barraged with angry fists. He later got back up to notice he now had a massive headache and a bruise to his side.

“On second thought,” said Arthur. “MAYBE I WON’T MISS YOU, LUKAS NORGE!”

* * *

The day had finally come for Arthur to leave Britain . He had already packed his bags and bid farewell to all his friends and coworkers…including Lukas. However, he still needed to say goodbye to his family. He was already in despair just thinking about what a big deal his family would make it out to be. Especially since he didn’t tell them about his move until last night. He got into a taxi and decided to think “happy thoughts” before going to see his disaster of a family.

To Arthur’s horror, the cab driver attempted to make small talk, Arthur’s biggest pet peeve. He  _ hated _ small talk. He often slipped up his words and made the situation uncomfortable. Okay, maybe it was his social awkwardness that caused him to hate it but he always blamed the person who started the conversation. Who does that anyway? Can’t people just sit in comfortable silence? I don’t even know you, what would we even talk about? The repetitive rainy weather!? These were the thoughts that often floated through his head when someone tried making small talk.

“Nice weather we’re having, eh?” The cab driver made a joke about the rain but Arthur decided to pretend he hadn’t heard him since he was clearly listening to music.

“What?..oh, yeah.”

“I’m still getting used to this weather. I don’t know how you British deal with it. I recently moved here from France to help my daughter with her baby. Oh, how I miss my country’s beautiful weather.” The driver continued to drag on about his daughter and home country before allowing for a few moments of silence so Arthur could speak.

Arthur was so close to strangling the man. He simply would not shut up! If he were any normal person, he would have commented on the man being from France. Something that they both seem to have in common to start off a pleasant conversation. But no. Arthur was already annoyed about having to visit his family and this conversation was already pushing him to the brink so, to save his own sanity (as well as the driver) he decided to ignore the man.

Arthur turned up the volume to his music and chose to look outside the window while thinking about his future in Paris and how big of a mistake he may or may not be making by moving there.

He found himself thinking about why he even started applying to universities in the first place. He was getting a promotion at the convenience store he was working at. The job wasn’t _too_ terrible, the only issue he really had was the rude customers that came in to complain about their lives or the items the store offered. And the creepy people who came in during his night shifts that wore suspicious-looking coats and just walked aimlessly throughout the store. And the obnoxious teenagers that came in and spilled things, knocked food over, and talked way too loud. On second thought, maybe it was a good thing he quit. His job really sucked. Like really, _really_ sucked. But it was all he was qualified for. Besides his terrible job, he honestly wanted to go back to uni, he had previously dropped out because he found the people there pretentious and figured school just wasn’t for him. He soon lived to regret that choice because of his father.

Before dropping out of Uni, Arthur had been deeply invested in his career as a photographer. He was truly talented at it too. In secondary school, he won multiple awards for his photos. That’s why he went to his previous university, he had won a scholarship for his photographic, as well as academic, achievements. Upon arriving at the school, he began to see that there were others that were far more talented than him. He began to doubt that he would have a career in the field and decided to just drop out. He was afraid that he would fail at the thing he loved and was not ready to face that heartbreak. He never really told anyone that. His father was enraged about him dropping out (despite leaving his life right before he started secondary school) and told him his photos were shit anyway. After that, Arthur began to look for a more “realistic” job when he met his two best friends in the world; Vladimir and Lucas.

That was something he hadn’t really given much thought. ‘What will happen to our friendship after I move away?’ He had elected to ignore this because he knew it would bring him too much pain. The rain pounded against the car and brought Arthur back to the present. He watched raindrops trickle down the window as he decided to move onto something more ‘positive.’ He decided to skip the next song on his playlist because maybe a song that had happier vibes would be better than one about heartbreak at the moment.

France. Arthur couldn’t seem to take his mind off of the country. He’d have to learn the language if he really wanted to survive there. He hated the whole french language. It was too glorified he believed. It sounded like a drunk person slurring their words while also trying to cough up a frog in their throat. Okay, that is a bit of an over-dramatization but he still thought it sounded...gross.

Paris. The so-called city of love. Arthur couldn’t care less about finding love considering he was only moving there to pursue higher education, not exactly a time he would want to find romance. Despite being cynical, stubborn, and easily misunderstood, he always had a knack for romance. Arthur was fairly attractive and did get looks thrown his way but he never really noticed it. His last relationship was around the time he first started his job at the convenience store. She was cute and nice but their relationship ended up breaking off because she realized Arthur had no plan in life. She wanted a stable future that Arthur simply couldn't even picture at the time so, in the end, they broke up and Arthur never sought out a relationship after that. Truthfully, Arthur was looking more forward to the lights and scenery in Paris rather than a relationship, because he could always look back at his pictures of Paris and admire the landmarks and their permanence, unlike any other relationship he could form there.

The rain began to dwindle as the sky became a little clearer, the first time the city had seen the sun in a couple of days. Arthur paused his playlist and took out his headphones when the scenery became more familiar. He had realized that in all the time he was thinking about his life, he hadn’t even prepared himself for facing his family.

The taxi was nearing a pale green two-story house; his mother’s house. Once the taxi stopped, Arthur paid the driver and stepped out. 

“Have a nice day! Maybe I’ll see you later, you never know!” said the driver.

Arthur had had enough of the driver and was already feeling uneasy at the thought of even seeing his siblings, let alone his mother. He decided to bite back his aggression and force a smile in response to the driver. The man finally drove away and left Arthur standing on the pavement in front of his mother’s house.

He gulped and ran a hand through his unruly blonde hair as he proceeded up the stone steps towards the door. He knocked on the door twice to announce his arrival to the household. No answer. He knocked again and after waiting a few minutes rang the doorbell...still no answer. Arthur began growing impatient waiting for someone to open the door. He was he entirely sure had warned them of his arrival. ...Okay, maybe he forgot. He pulled out his phone to check the last message he had sent to his mother and brothers.

_ I just got into the taxi. I’ll be arriving there shortly. _

Read at 11:22

So they had read his message. But haven’t opened the door yet despite his harsh knocking. He decided to text them once more to make sure they knew he was here.

_ I’m here. The knocking was me. Could you please open the door? _

Sent

Read at 11:56

Now he knew they were ignoring him on purpose. Arthur was about to begin knocking on the poor wooden door without any mercy until the door finally opened.

“It’s about ti-”

The door had fully opened to reveal a boy with curious blue eyes looking up at him, his younger half brother, Peter.

“Oh…,” Arthur scowled, “it’s you.”

Peter’s usual smile had faded. “Yeah? Why do you sound so disappointed? That’s rude you know.”

Arthur dismissed Peter out of annoyance. “Yeah, Yeah. Where is the rest of them?”

“The rest of who?”

“The rest of the family you twit!”

“I’m not a...whatever you just said! And it’s a surprise.”

Arthur began running his hand through his hair while taking deep breaths as to prevent himself from choking the boy in front of him. Peter was usually annoying but today, he invented a whole new tier of annoyance. Arthur was usually pissed when having to deal with his younger sibling but today he did not have a shred of patience left to do so.

“Okay. Can I just come in?”

“What’s the magic wor-”

Arthur pushed past him and came inside to see all of the lights off.

“SURPRISE!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is like the first time I've attempted to write a multi-chapter fic, but I just couldn't abandon the idea since ideas kept popping up for it. So.. yeah.
> 
> Hmm, I think the idea for this fic came up when I was listening to "Love in Secret" by Fukase (it's a song I totally recommend). I guess I was just thinking of Arthur getting jealous because Francis seemed to be hopping from girl to girl when he was right there. Or maybe it was me thinking about Arthur repressing his feelings for his Frog because he never admitted to even liking guys. I don't know.
> 
> Sorry this chapter doesn't have a lot of action, but I promise future chapters will be more interesting (I hope). Hopefully this fic goes somewhere. I just needed to get it out after the past 2 or 3 years. 
> 
> Next time: Arthur has a surprise party and an argument with his scumbag dad. And maybe Paris isn't as bad as he expected?


End file.
